did Delilah ever say what it’s like in new york city???
I hate when I’m in class, working on my personal writing and someone leans over and goes “WHat R U wRITing” like your eulogy if you don’t back the fuck up you soggy lampshade
when my parents complain about me
SO THIS ONE TIME IT WAS NEW YEARS EVE AND MY ASSHOLE OF A DAD WAS DRUNK AND WE MADE A BET. IF I COULD HIT HIM IN THE ASS CHEEK WITH A BLOWGUN DART THAT I WOULD GET $200. SO I AIMED IT (I WAS 12 YEARS OLD) AND I MISJUDGED THE AIM AND IT HIT HIM STRAIGHT IN THE NUTS AND MY BROTHER HANDED ME $500 WHILE MY DAD WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL VIA AMBULANCE.
This kitty accidentally stepped on a bee
Hey haha maybe private conversations are private for a reason idk man haha